We've all been there. Sitting in front of our computer screen for hours on end. There's a deadline quickly approaching and despite our best efforts, for some odd reason, we just can't get anything out of our brains. Sitting in frustration rereading the last paragraph over and over again ad nauseam. But alas, we have been afflicted with the dreaded "writer's block". A hex so dilapidating, so dreadful that it can become an obsession.
There's been times that I've had three-quarter way finished stories sitting in my folder for months. Mocking me. Laughing at me. Even after I finish them, I hold a grudge against them for the suffering they caused me.
I often get the reputation for being a creative force of nature. A spring of inspiration that flows endlessly. Y'know the "idea guy". And while that's somewhat true during my highs, my lows are equally as severe. When I'm in the zone, nothing can stop me. I feel like a conduit where juicy morsels of high weirdness pluck themselves from the succulent ætherial vine and dump by the bushel into my brain basket. I'm like a man possessed, drunk with the mead of poetry. I go on binges, cranking out stories, poems, ideas and anything else. Once during one of my manic bouts, I created an entire tabletop RPG. In five days I typed up a 33k word corebook. Complete madness.
But, I am a man of extremes. And in juxtaposition to my creative frenzies are stretches that are more barren and featureless than the dune sea of planet Arrakis. A colorless hellscape where nothing blooms. And I sit at my laptop like a drooling retard, empty headed and glazey eyed.
But unfortunately for me, a guy who tries to make a living on my ideas, I usually don't have the luxury of "I'll come back to this". Sometimes shit needs to get done right now. So, here are some of the ways that I shake myself free of the cursed writer's block and they may work for you.
Some of these suggestions may go against certain worldviews or belief systems. And some of these suggestions may not be positive for you. They may not even be positive for me. But, you're a grown ass man and should have the ability to discern what is good or bad for you when reading shit on the internet.
The Temple of Iron.
Go do your devotions to the Gods of war and strength with a meaty pump at the gym. I legitimately treat my workouts like a spiritual practice. I have rituals, I sing Galdr (pagan hymns) beforehand and I dedicate it to the holy Goðín. I'm sure if you're a Christian or a Hindu, the same principles can be applied. But on my way home as I'm listening to the dank grooves of space rock and doom metal, great ideas pop into my head. Gifts from the mighty thunderer.
Do Drugs
Calm down, I'm kidding. Sorta. But, I have a condition called "cluster headaches". It's a nightmare ailment but the only treatment that isn't highly addictive zombifying pharma poison is microdosing psilocybin mushrooms. These things have insane neurological medicinal properties. Go look it up. After a weeklong cycle of magic shrooms, I find that my mental blocks tend to clear up along with general brain fog. If you're iffy about it, there are other mushrooms that won't intoxicate you at all. Chaga, lion's mane and others that can be made into tea that's good for your body and mind. I know a couple guys who keep a stash of weed and pull it out to 420blaze their block away. I don't smoke pot anymore because I can't handle it anymore. I take one puff and have sweaty panic attacks.
(Abusing intoxicants will make you retarded)
Get Lost in the Woods
Seriously. Well not completely. Don't go miles into the wilderness where you can get injured and have to be helicoptered out. And don't go to the spooky parts. You read paranormal transmissions? There's bigfoots and all kinds of primitive humanoid cryptids snatching folks up. Last thing you need is sasquatch dragging you off to his cave dwelling. He doesn't look like a civilized guy. He's going to eat you or blow out your booty. But, few things are more inspirational than being in the serenity of nature and all its beauty. Listen to the cackling flowing creek and feel the soft caress of gentle breeze as it dances between swaying evergreen branches. I promise, the healing kiss of the sun's rays will clear your mind. Just avoid the yeti rape.
Assemble your Weirdest Comrades for a Night of Hedonism and Toxic Masculinity
Call up your boys. The weird ones. The ones who get you all riled up. Drink beer, feast and just blow off some steam. Laugh like a gaggle of retarded hyenas at random nonsense and just be a chimp for the night. Do something dangerous. Commit some petty crimes. Be a savage that doesn't care about social etiquettes and make jokes about all the stuff you're not supposed to laugh at. Talk dirty to random bar hussies. Then call them names when they reject you. If they like it and flirt with you, reject them. Then go home and play a prank on your sleeping wife. Afterwards, bully her into lousy sex. Inside every man is a villainous primate. Let him out once in a while when you need a release. And when your brosquad all do it at the same time, it makes for a night of ritualistic barbarity guaranteed to refresh your mental state.
Religious Devotion
I know having this after the last one seems a bit strange but I'm serious. As I mentioned before, my religion is a pivotal part of my life and identity. And I've found getting lost in my devotions provides tremendous clarity. Meditations, Galdr, libations and performing the rites in general are hugely inspirational. After blót I feel rejuvenated. Creativity is a gift from the divine and you interact with the divine through ritual. So if you're a Catholic, go to mass and pray your rosary. If you're a Hindu, sing your mantras. Whatever your religion is, however you practice it is not my business. But whatever it is, go do it.
Watch Weird Foreign Movies
Not the gross kind. I mean watch foreign movies that look strange. Especially campy low budget ones. While they may be bad, these types of movies tend to have themes in them that are completely alien to us. Different cultures and different races have different worldviews. Different worldviews have different presuppositions and different fears. They perceive and understand reality in ways that make for great story ideas. Even dramas and comedies can have little idea sparks.
Read Old Books
You should be doing this anyway. Especially if you aspire to be a fantasy writer. You can't write good fantasy without studying history. Fantasy writers who only draw from previous fantasy are all trash. History and myth must inspire fantasy. But reading old books provides a wealth of information. It transports you to another time and place. It challenges what you think you know about the world by presenting ideas and events that proceed today's. Modernity is a coffin for imagination. Explore the vibrant infoscape of antiquity.
So here's a list of a few things I do to stave off writer's block. If you noticed, most of this list has to do with action of some kind. Pulp is about action and what better way to conjure imaginal adventures than by having some yourself? So, in conclusion, “writer’s block” isn't even a real thing. You’re just overthinking and stressed out. Go live a little a get some fresh ideas. You’ll be alright.
Let me know down in the comments how you fight writer's block.